“So Tired. Just need a break.”

I've been running in chaos recently.

The days and the weeks have been melding together in such a way that time seems simultaneously never-ending and yet also time has been passing so quickly.

Today I have found myself looking into a brand new year, not entirely clear on how exactly I got to this point. My life over the past few years, in particular, has felt like I am always on the run, always chasing the next thing in the calendar, the next goal, climbing the next mountain... and I am tired. I suspect I am not the only one who feels like this, given the years of global disruption and uncertainty that we have been living through.

Recently, I stumbled upon some notes I made on the Summer Solstice in 2021. I like to note down my feelings at particular points in a year, as it gives me something to look back on and acts as a marker of my progress through life. It also helps me to remain present and to notice the big and small achievements I am attaining year by year, which could otherwise go easily unnoticed. It gives me an opportunity to take stock and notice where I've been, in order to help me decide where it is I would like to go next.

Anyway, the final line of what I wrote within these particular notes caught my attention. I simply wrote:

"So tired. Just need a break."

It struck a chord with me, because it made me realise that I have been feeling this way for a very long time. Taking a few days off work, visiting close friends, spending time with family, getting out into nature... none of my usual fixes have been doing the trick. In fact, every time I have managed to give myself somewhat of a breather from daily life, I've ended up feeling even more tired and in need of a break than when I started. I feel this way right now: despite being at the tail end of - in theory - a period of national 'rest' and holiday, I find myself each day counting. down the minutes until I can climb joyfully back into my bed and pull the covers up over my head.

I find myself wondering how many of us are feeling this way? Moving through life, going through the motions, and supposedly looking after ourselves as we should be, yet still constantly feeling unsettled, tired and in need of a break? I'm certain I am not the only one. Exhaustion and overwhelm are endemic to a life lived within modern society, and particularly western society. In an age of social media and fast-fixes, there is always someone else doing something that we feel we ought to be doing. We feel constantly guilty for not doing. We allow ourselves to put far too many things in our diaries, to work ourselves to the bone, to glorify 'grind culture' and answer the question 'How was your day?' with the word 'Busy!' far, far too often.

It's too much. No wonder we need a break. I just believe that the break we are in need of involves more than just a week off work, time to take a bubble bath and switch on the Out of Office...

A few weeks ago I decided that for me the break I was in need of wasn't a week off work, but a break from trying to fit into a mould that wasn't made for me. A break from stress and pressure and repetitive routine. A break from a life being lived by someone else's book. I booked a one way flight to Vancouver, Canada and I will be setting off on a new adventure on March 6th 2023.

These words by Brooke Hampton ring particularly true for me at the moment and have been echoing around my head:

No, we don't need more sleep.

It's our souls that are tired, not our bodies.

We need nature.

We need magic.

We need adventure.

We need freedom.

We need truth.

We need stillness.

We don't need more sleep, we need to wake up and live.

So, I am off to give my soul rest.

I'm off to finally heal the tiredness.

I am off to embrace life and adventure, nature, magic and freedom.

I hope you will all come with me in the form of my blog, or following along on my Instagram page. I am hopeful that I will be able to continue teaching yoga and sharing my passion for this beautiful way of life from my new home and any places I end up passing through on my travels.

I will give you all more information as soon as I have it, but for now I just wanted to share the news with you.

Sending you all love and a little reminder to check in with your feelings from time to time, to pay them true attention and check whether you are using the correct translation for the words you are writing in your journals, minds and souls. For me, just a small bit of clarification has gone an awfully long way.

Whatever it is you need, may 2023 bring it to you in spades.

With deep love,

V xx